Yesterday was a therapy day for me.....I was scheduled with my "head" doctor and my neck physical therapy....Upon waking yesterday morning, I knew I couldn't do both, so I opted for mental health therapy......good choice.....I really like my therapist, easy to talk to.....helps to keep me on the straight and narrow path (or at least she tries to....) and gives me a neutral forum to voice thoughts and decisions I am trying to formulate......she not only embraced my decision to market myself as a "fitness consultant", but offers her help to help to network me with people other than who I generally encounter........
As we discussed the futilities of physical therapy, she recommends an acupuncturist who and a pain management doctor (no pills) who might offer alternative ways to manage my neck pain.....she looks up the numbers for me.....I leave therapy newly energized and in a "better place"........
Then off to the store to purchase ingredients for chicken soup.....Gary is coming home this afternoon and a long six days in Prague....and has a bad cold/sinus whatever.....I carefully prepare the soup only to let it boil a little too long, so there is very little broth, but what is there, is rich and when he came home last night, he ate two bowls and went straight to bed......I'm talking 6:30......very unusual for Gary, but I didn't want him to be unaccompanied, so I tucked myself in as well...needless to say, I didn't make it through the night.........a combination of his coughing spells and my sleeping plenty by midnight, I went upstairs and got a little more sleep.......I arose at 4:30 and got online and am waiting for the paper to come......I get personally trained this morning, the termite man is coming and I have errands which need to get done.......my girls' getaway is coming soon and I want to buy some things to take to the lake.......I want to call the acupuncturist. Dr. Chen today.....uh-oh, am i setting myself up for failure by writing too many things on my list.....I'll redo the list and prioritize........good start for the long day ahead......
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Sundays are no fun without Gary...
I love so many things about Sunday......it's just the leisure manner that it brings to Gary and I.......Sunday mornings are sacred......Coffee in bed first followed by a big Sunday paper......I love that Gary shares this weekly ritual.....he is always in such a hurry to go wherever and this ritual has become very special.......so special that when he is out of town, it's just a long day......Sundays are for families.....my kids are grown and have been out of the house for years.....but today even though I was lonely for Gary and did a lot of "nothing" all day, it was a very special day for my daughter......this was the day that she completed the Avon 3-day walk for cancer......as she does for everything, she followed an exemplary training routine....by the book......she was going to be prepared and she was...physically.....but after talking with her today, nothing could have prepared her for the emotional journey that she would experience. 3,000 walkers......people who were cancer survivors, their friends, people who were walking in memory of friends that they had lost, and like Corey, people who just wanted to feel that they were making a difference.. Three days, 60 miles and six million dollars raised, Corey was elated and is already planning for a team next year......I beamed with pride as I listened to her.......she has so much to give....maybe this will be the start of her recognizing that things that she does can and do make a difference in every aspect of her life......she called my sister who is a breast cancer survivor and described every detail of the closing ceremony.....she called both of her brothers in Costa Rica....she called Gary who is in Prague and she called . What a lucky family we are to be so close........but next Sunday, Gary, you will spend the morning with me in bed with coffee and the paper.....that's our Sunday tradition. So as I shut down for the night, maybe I shouldn't really call this day "no fun".....it was a little lonely and very thought provoking.......we are all healthy and happy.....can't ask for more than that......I drank my coffee, read the paper and completed the entire Sunday crossword puzzle.....yes, Sundays are supposed to be the hardest ones, but I did it on my own........I did do something else today, but I will leave that for my post tomorrow.....what a funny person i can be....stay tuned....
Saturday, October 13, 2007
I'M BACK...........ALL IS WELL.....
Good morning.....it is a beautiful fall morning and I believe I can honestly say that "I am back"......I have taken some time off from writing trying to wait until I was in the "right place" and I finally decided that my "right place" is going to be constantly evolving, and writing usually gives me such a sense of peace, so what was my delay?
Let's address my physical condition first.......the wrist that I broke a year ago seems to be taking a downward spiral...mobility is not as good....,grip strength weaker, sometimes a little numbness and tingling.....but......I guess I had to keep up the exercises from physical therapy.....I am going to the doctor in about a week or so to have that re-evaluated....I have had neck issues for about six months and finally sought professional treatment.....many x-rays later, no surprises.....I have some disc degeneration and a little arthritis........I am in physical therapy and am making myself realize what I can and cannot due in terms of exercise......I can certainly still do my cardio workout, but the weights are drastically limited.....we're talking 1-5 pound weights......obviously, none of this sat very well with me.....my pity party began again and as Gary so aptly put it, I began to "vaporize"......pulling away from people and activities.........therapy (physical, not mental....that's Monday) was a good thing for me.......mentally......when you are surrounded by others whose injuries are so much more severe and limiting than mine, I was forced to "tune into what I could do and not to what I could not do"........my isolation or "vaporization" has been good for me......it has allowed me a lot of personal time to think of where I am in my life.....the blessings that have been bestowed on me and what I want to continue doing......I am taking a few of the "girlies" (best friends) away to the lake for a few days to celebrate my upcoming 60th birthday.....though I started having second thoughts about it, one friend reminded me how lucky I was that six other women would pencil four days off their busy calendars to come spend this time together......that's when I truly got excited about our journey.......
On a different tangent, I have been frustrated with "losing my fitness identity" and was in a sense grieving for the days when I used to teach.....yesterday I went to get a new kind of facial (yes, I will always be vain), and I was filling out an application of medical history, etc, occupation......and it came to me.......I am a fitness consultant.......I smiled as I wrote it down, because I had finally "framed" what my non-teaching days hold.....my knowledge is a gift which I will continually pass on to people.....it is my passion, but my "reframing" it, I was now a consultant.....I didn't have a specific schedule....I wasn't tied down to a certain gym.......I would be a freelance consultant for anyone who needed their workouts to be outlined for them on a one-to-one basis.....it could be a "redefinition" of what their workouts should include.....it could be done at their homes, my home, or in a gym (since I wouldn't be a trainer at their gym, just a one time guest designing their program).........who would think that such a little thought and a new name for myself could give me such satisfaction...I am going to ask my friends to help me find a "name" for my company, a cute logo (of course)........yes, you are right....I am smiling......I can feel myself devaporizing.......it feels good to be back.....
Let's address my physical condition first.......the wrist that I broke a year ago seems to be taking a downward spiral...mobility is not as good....,grip strength weaker, sometimes a little numbness and tingling.....but......I guess I had to keep up the exercises from physical therapy.....I am going to the doctor in about a week or so to have that re-evaluated....I have had neck issues for about six months and finally sought professional treatment.....many x-rays later, no surprises.....I have some disc degeneration and a little arthritis........I am in physical therapy and am making myself realize what I can and cannot due in terms of exercise......I can certainly still do my cardio workout, but the weights are drastically limited.....we're talking 1-5 pound weights......obviously, none of this sat very well with me.....my pity party began again and as Gary so aptly put it, I began to "vaporize"......pulling away from people and activities.........therapy (physical, not mental....that's Monday) was a good thing for me.......mentally......when you are surrounded by others whose injuries are so much more severe and limiting than mine, I was forced to "tune into what I could do and not to what I could not do"........my isolation or "vaporization" has been good for me......it has allowed me a lot of personal time to think of where I am in my life.....the blessings that have been bestowed on me and what I want to continue doing......I am taking a few of the "girlies" (best friends) away to the lake for a few days to celebrate my upcoming 60th birthday.....though I started having second thoughts about it, one friend reminded me how lucky I was that six other women would pencil four days off their busy calendars to come spend this time together......that's when I truly got excited about our journey.......
On a different tangent, I have been frustrated with "losing my fitness identity" and was in a sense grieving for the days when I used to teach.....yesterday I went to get a new kind of facial (yes, I will always be vain), and I was filling out an application of medical history, etc, occupation......and it came to me.......I am a fitness consultant.......I smiled as I wrote it down, because I had finally "framed" what my non-teaching days hold.....my knowledge is a gift which I will continually pass on to people.....it is my passion, but my "reframing" it, I was now a consultant.....I didn't have a specific schedule....I wasn't tied down to a certain gym.......I would be a freelance consultant for anyone who needed their workouts to be outlined for them on a one-to-one basis.....it could be a "redefinition" of what their workouts should include.....it could be done at their homes, my home, or in a gym (since I wouldn't be a trainer at their gym, just a one time guest designing their program).........who would think that such a little thought and a new name for myself could give me such satisfaction...I am going to ask my friends to help me find a "name" for my company, a cute logo (of course)........yes, you are right....I am smiling......I can feel myself devaporizing.......it feels good to be back.....
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
A NEW REVELATION ABOUT ME FROM ME.....
It's always very interesting to me when I give any idea deep thought and I come up with what I think is an incredible self-revelation and Gary will say to me in a very facetious tone........Really.......are you just realizing that about yourself?????
Recently I started to confide in Gary and he finished my sentence for me.......Am I that transparent......his answer was calming......"It's obvious to me, Sharon, because I know you so well and love you so much." He knows I don't like to go to "big parties". He knows I don't like to be the center of attention except when I taught exercise. He knows "planning anything" is not one of my strengths and I shy away from it. He knows I "like to be in control"..........why don't I see those things? Do I really think I am showing another "persona" to those I am around.....Interestingly enough, the people (other than one best friend) who I have taught for the past 29 years are the most surprised when I tell them about my dislike of large groups and that I am a relatively shy person. They laugh when I tell them I don't like to socialize very much....how could that be? I used to keep them entertained for an hour 3 days a week....and therein lies the answer. It was "my time to shine". my love for "drama queen" became a reality when I was in front of my audience. Nothing was sacred information......they were all ears to anything and everything I would say. Now that I am not teaching anymore, I need to realize that I still "give of myself" to people in so many ways, whether it is a the gym on a one-to-one basis or giving to a close friend. I lose sight of what I mean to other people now that I don't get that daily "you're the best, Sharon" reinforcement. Now comes my time in life to realize myself that I do shine in so many ways.....my quirks will always be there.......and most will not change.....and that's okay. I must continue to work on "me" and let it be okay for "me" and my wants and desires to be important. I would like to work on not being so easily swayed by others. I need to respect me.......so far I like the way this sounds.....it's continually focusing on "my freedoms". Another new revelation unfolded......that's a good thing
Recently I started to confide in Gary and he finished my sentence for me.......Am I that transparent......his answer was calming......"It's obvious to me, Sharon, because I know you so well and love you so much." He knows I don't like to go to "big parties". He knows I don't like to be the center of attention except when I taught exercise. He knows "planning anything" is not one of my strengths and I shy away from it. He knows I "like to be in control"..........why don't I see those things? Do I really think I am showing another "persona" to those I am around.....Interestingly enough, the people (other than one best friend) who I have taught for the past 29 years are the most surprised when I tell them about my dislike of large groups and that I am a relatively shy person. They laugh when I tell them I don't like to socialize very much....how could that be? I used to keep them entertained for an hour 3 days a week....and therein lies the answer. It was "my time to shine". my love for "drama queen" became a reality when I was in front of my audience. Nothing was sacred information......they were all ears to anything and everything I would say. Now that I am not teaching anymore, I need to realize that I still "give of myself" to people in so many ways, whether it is a the gym on a one-to-one basis or giving to a close friend. I lose sight of what I mean to other people now that I don't get that daily "you're the best, Sharon" reinforcement. Now comes my time in life to realize myself that I do shine in so many ways.....my quirks will always be there.......and most will not change.....and that's okay. I must continue to work on "me" and let it be okay for "me" and my wants and desires to be important. I would like to work on not being so easily swayed by others. I need to respect me.......so far I like the way this sounds.....it's continually focusing on "my freedoms". Another new revelation unfolded......that's a good thing
Monday, September 3, 2007
TO PLAN A PARTY OR NOT TO PLAN A PARTY
Now that I have come to such an "acceptance" of where I am in my life and reframing my goals to "embracing" where I am.....I am faced with a challenge.......do I plan a party for myself or not......if I do plan one, is it just the lucky "six" in my circle, or do I expand as I begin this new journey to friends who have accompanied me in the past........such hard questions.......what I don't want to do is "overthink this"..........I always want things to be "easy", but maybe this is one of those times, I need to think it through a little more and decide what I really want......this is one of those times THAT IT REALLY IS ABOUT ME............I'll be back tomorrow with my decision........
Thursday, August 30, 2007
ABBY'S "AHA MOMENT"......at last
Sorry I haven't been around in such a long time...my month in Costa Rica took more out of me, emotionally and physically, than I could have ever imagined. When I returned home to Birmingham, I pretty much collapsed...in so many ways. Fortunately I began regular exercise again which I think helped me move from day to day. I felt totally lost. Nothing seemed to make sense in my life other than my role as a wife, mother and now grandmother. I had stopped teaching and personal training. I felt that my impending birthday...60 years OLD......was a hurdle which I had to "get over". I was fighting it as if my life were going to stop on November 5. my thoughts never strayed far from that "life event". I wanted everyone's assurance that I didn't look like 60. I knew I didn't act like 60 (whatever that is!!!) I continued to frame my "doomsday". My therapist, who I adore, tried to help me through this time, but quite honestly I was struggling.
I went back to Costa Rica a few weeks ago and was hanging out at Todd's pool reading Oprah Magazine. I lover her magazine as well as "More Magazine" as they address issues relating to women in their 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's and yes, even 80's. I came upon an article by a poet entitled "Nikki Giovanni's Aha Moment". I immediately became Nikki. She was an accomplished 58 year old poet, quite the "cool" lady, drove an apple red sports car, kept herself in great shape, dressed to the nines and even had a tatoo.......her moment came while driving home from a party with a friend and was pulled over by a state trooper. She immediately assured her friend not to worry. All changed in the blink of an eye, or should I say in the shine of the trooper's flashlight in the car to get a look at them. almost immediately his tone changed and addressed her as ma'am in that solicitous way that people do when they're talking to an elder. She offered to get her license, sure that he would give her a ticket. Instead he gave them a suggestion to stop and get some coffee and get to where we were going "safely". Nikki realized immediately when the trooper looked into the car, he didn't see what she and her friend thought he saw - two hip young women going someplace. He saw his grandmother. It was a depressing moment.
She pondered the matter overnight and realized she WAS getting old. as she verbalized that to a famous poet friend of hers, the friend's sresponse was, "Yes, you are". Her friend was right. It was time for her to embrace the moment she had come to and discover what "old" meant/
She joined AARP and even started asking for her senior discount!!!!!! She began to realize the pleasures of being older.......having nothing to prove to anyone except herself. It began to be freeing.
I was one of those who has been resisting transition and was not allowing myself to enjoy who I am. In my "aha" moment where I became Nikki, I accepted Abby......I am learning to embrace the change, no matter what it is; once I do, I can learn about the new world you're in and take advantage of it. I will bring to bear all of my prior experience, I will be riding on another level. It feels liberating already.
I hope you will come along with me on my new journey.......My first step is to join AARP....
I went back to Costa Rica a few weeks ago and was hanging out at Todd's pool reading Oprah Magazine. I lover her magazine as well as "More Magazine" as they address issues relating to women in their 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's and yes, even 80's. I came upon an article by a poet entitled "Nikki Giovanni's Aha Moment". I immediately became Nikki. She was an accomplished 58 year old poet, quite the "cool" lady, drove an apple red sports car, kept herself in great shape, dressed to the nines and even had a tatoo.......her moment came while driving home from a party with a friend and was pulled over by a state trooper. She immediately assured her friend not to worry. All changed in the blink of an eye, or should I say in the shine of the trooper's flashlight in the car to get a look at them. almost immediately his tone changed and addressed her as ma'am in that solicitous way that people do when they're talking to an elder. She offered to get her license, sure that he would give her a ticket. Instead he gave them a suggestion to stop and get some coffee and get to where we were going "safely". Nikki realized immediately when the trooper looked into the car, he didn't see what she and her friend thought he saw - two hip young women going someplace. He saw his grandmother. It was a depressing moment.
She pondered the matter overnight and realized she WAS getting old. as she verbalized that to a famous poet friend of hers, the friend's sresponse was, "Yes, you are". Her friend was right. It was time for her to embrace the moment she had come to and discover what "old" meant/
She joined AARP and even started asking for her senior discount!!!!!! She began to realize the pleasures of being older.......having nothing to prove to anyone except herself. It began to be freeing.
I was one of those who has been resisting transition and was not allowing myself to enjoy who I am. In my "aha" moment where I became Nikki, I accepted Abby......I am learning to embrace the change, no matter what it is; once I do, I can learn about the new world you're in and take advantage of it. I will bring to bear all of my prior experience, I will be riding on another level. It feels liberating already.
I hope you will come along with me on my new journey.......My first step is to join AARP....
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Continuing Adventures of the Travelling Abby
Life continues on my Costa Rican adventure........I seem to be keeping this head cold, which to be perfectly honest, is a real pain.....I have a week and a day to get rid of it......in case you haven't figured it out...a week from Monday, July 9, my third granddaughter will be brought into this crazy world......it's a strange feeling knowing the date...but in other ways, it takes out a lot of stress for me...the other night when Scott was in Quepos, Gisella knocked on my door at 4:00 a.m. and I was sure her water had broken.....but it was Liana who was throwing up....ah, what a relief!!! I could certainly handle that........everyone seems to be doing okay....Gis, Liana and I seem to be sniffling and sneezing, but life goes on...
I think they will all go see Gisella's sister, Monica and her new baby this morning....that will give me some downtime......I might do some laundry and straighten up a bit....maybe even dosome cooking.......It is nice to be able to know that I am helping Scott and Gisella and they are both so verbally appreciative.......In three weeks I will be going home and geting some R&R... Scott is generally so stubborn and won't let me help at all and he is definitely letting down his guard and letting me do whatever I want......and hugging me tightly before I go to bed with his words of appreciation......
Scott just went to the gym to workout and then they will all go to Monica's house which will leave me here...ALONE... I know I could go to Todd's...but I think I will use a few hours of just being with me.....and listening to some English TV......we are all going to go to Todd's house late this afternoon....I will take some photos then and post them on the blog..hope all is well for everyone....especially in this crazy world of ours.....ciao
I think they will all go see Gisella's sister, Monica and her new baby this morning....that will give me some downtime......I might do some laundry and straighten up a bit....maybe even dosome cooking.......It is nice to be able to know that I am helping Scott and Gisella and they are both so verbally appreciative.......In three weeks I will be going home and geting some R&R... Scott is generally so stubborn and won't let me help at all and he is definitely letting down his guard and letting me do whatever I want......and hugging me tightly before I go to bed with his words of appreciation......
Scott just went to the gym to workout and then they will all go to Monica's house which will leave me here...ALONE... I know I could go to Todd's...but I think I will use a few hours of just being with me.....and listening to some English TV......we are all going to go to Todd's house late this afternoon....I will take some photos then and post them on the blog..hope all is well for everyone....especially in this crazy world of ours.....ciao
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