A NEW REVELATION ABOUT ME FROM ME.....

It's always very interesting to me when I give any idea deep thought and I come up with what I think is an incredible self-revelation and Gary will say to me in a very facetious tone........Really.......are you just realizing that about yourself?????
Recently I started to confide in Gary and he finished my sentence for me.......Am I that transparent......his answer was calming......"It's obvious to me, Sharon, because I know you so well and love you so much." He knows I don't like to go to "big parties". He knows I don't like to be the center of attention except when I taught exercise. He knows "planning anything" is not one of my strengths and I shy away from it. He knows I "like to be in control"..........why don't I see those things? Do I really think I am showing another "persona" to those I am around.....Interestingly enough, the people (other than one best friend) who I have taught for the past 29 years are the most surprised when I tell them about my dislike of large groups and that I am a relatively shy person. They laugh when I tell them I don't like to socialize very much....how could that be? I used to keep them entertained for an hour 3 days a week....and therein lies the answer. It was "my time to shine". my love for "drama queen" became a reality when I was in front of my audience. Nothing was sacred information......they were all ears to anything and everything I would say. Now that I am not teaching anymore, I need to realize that I still "give of myself" to people in so many ways, whether it is a the gym on a one-to-one basis or giving to a close friend. I lose sight of what I mean to other people now that I don't get that daily "you're the best, Sharon" reinforcement. Now comes my time in life to realize myself that I do shine in so many ways.....my quirks will always be there.......and most will not change.....and that's okay. I must continue to work on "me" and let it be okay for "me" and my wants and desires to be important. I would like to work on not being so easily swayed by others. I need to respect me.......so far I like the way this sounds.....it's continually focusing on "my freedoms". Another new revelation unfolded......that's a good thing

TO PLAN A PARTY OR NOT TO PLAN A PARTY

Now that I have come to such an "acceptance" of where I am in my life and reframing my goals to "embracing" where I am.....I am faced with a challenge.......do I plan a party for myself or not......if I do plan one, is it just the lucky "six" in my circle, or do I expand as I begin this new journey to friends who have accompanied me in the past........such hard questions.......what I don't want to do is "overthink this"..........I always want things to be "easy", but maybe this is one of those times, I need to think it through a little more and decide what I really want......this is one of those times THAT IT REALLY IS ABOUT ME............I'll be back tomorrow with my decision........