EVERYTHING IS CALM?????

When I pondered on what to write about today, one "constant" continued to pop up in my mind.......and that is my "journey to calm"......my journey to "be in the moment", to be "true to myself", "stop the merry-go-round", etc....etc.......I am faced with the truth that I turned to this journey initially just as a therapy for my every-tightening back and neck muscles, but what I am daily discovering is that what I really have to do is go for a slow, but sure mindful transition on the way I live my life, the way that I approach my daily activities, actions must speak louder than words.....I must not only say it....I must believe it and live it.....this is certainly not something which is going to automatically happen....this is no "push the magic button" and it will be all right. This is forcing myself to be in a mindful and conscious state as much as possible.....this is putting down on my calendar at least 30 minutes a day for my meditation....it has to be the most important part of my day for it can set the tone for how I handle everything else. I love the "exercise" part of my day, but even as I exercise, I am attempting more serenity and less intensity, not in movement, but in mind and spirit.......my forty-five minute workout was intense in effort, but done with a conscious effort to stay in a good place, learning how to isolate the intensity of my working muscles from the racing of my mind or the tightening of my upper back muscles. Because I don't have any other morning obligations until ll:00, as soon as I finish my blog, I am going to put in my Relax into Greatness CD which I finally got yesterday......I will attempt to lay still for 30 minutes and listen as I am guided, not trying too hard, but just listening and learning to surrender to the moment.......next week I have a private lesson to learn some yoga moves to learn how mindful breathing connected with yoga positions can be healing to my body and my mind.....
I am excited about the journey, but my main concern, is to take the behaviors of my past, and replace them with new ones.....and stop worrying about the way I was, and concentrate on the "now"....quite a big undertaking, but in my heart, I know it is a worthwhile one.....I'm off to meditate........take a deep breath and come along with me....

JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE CATCHING UP!

Just when you think you have been on cruise control with your "vanity needs" for a bit and you feel in need of a tune-up, something more important comes up.....I went to the dentist and to get down to the nitty-gritty, I need some new crowns (and I wish they were to put on top of my head).........it looks like I will be sticking with my Oil of Olay products for a bit longer......had a busy day today....went to the temple this morning and volunteered......there were four of us there today and we put the bulletins together, inserted extra material, sealed them up and 3 hours later we were done......it was truly a very diverse group of people....besides me, there was an 84 year old man who is in wonderful shape who I am quite fond of, a woman who declared that she was 89 who was a gem and then another gentlemen, mid-fifties with a sharp-tongued wit..........I most enjoyed the "senior citizens".....the woman especially, had such a wonderful outlook on life, and had such a sense of richness of experiences in her life.....she sets quite a wonderful example.....the older gentleman, Howard, is also wonderful....I have worked with him before...He lost his wife less than a year ago and coming to temple and volunteering once in a while makes his feel good......he is a kind man and the morning really flew by......funny how I would never picture myself in a room with these three individuals.....maybe that's what makes volunteer work so unique and enjoying...you spend quality time with people who you would probably never get to socialize with, and it's all for a good cause.....everyone's a winner in this situation....
Young and old, experienced and novice, we all join together to volunteer a few hours of our time.......I can now finally understand how this sense of volunteerism served my mother so well.....after she lost my father, she too was "lost".......it wasn't until she started volunteering at a plethora of places that she rediscovered her sense of purpose.....she was honored for this volunteerism and we were all so proud. As I go to the temple, I do carry a bit of my mom with me.......How lucky I am to share such an experience and to have followed in her footsteps.....

CONTINUING ON A NEW PATH

Those of you who have read my previous blogs are aware that for the past year, I have been bothered by chronic neck pain. After numerous trips to the chiropractor, orthopedic surgeon, physical therapy, accupuncture (I wrote about that nightmare), deep tissue massage, I was desperate to find some sort of relief, so I was referred to a massage therapist who practiced the Feldenkrais technique.....to put it in a nutsshell, the Feldenkrais Method is named after a distinguished scientist and educator Moshe Feldenkrais. He earned his doctorate at the Sorbonne and later was an associate to the Nobel Prize laureate Frederick Joliot-Curie in Paris. After suffering a serious knee injury and faced with the possibility of confinement in a wheelchair, he embarked on exploring new relationships between the mind and body to improvement physical movement and function. His method has proved effective for ingenious neuromuscular reeducation and is recognized as a dynamic methodology to improve neuromuscuolar control and biomechanical efficiency.
On its basic level, this method improves posture, coordination, flexibility and suppleness. Moreover, it alleviats pain by minimizing physiological and psychological stress assoociated with restricted functions.
To summarize, my goals in this practice are to develop a more intelligent and responsive body, reduce pain, aches, and fatigue, improve flexibility and suppleness and to increase coordination and muscular efficiency.......in simpler terms, I want my neck to feel better.
I found a practitioner her and have gone to her several times and always enjoy my sessions with her.........I am learning to try and "unlearn" old movement patterns by awareness....retraining my body.......it is a practice which is only successful with constant reinforcement and mindful thinking........(I know, that doesn't sound like "me" at all, but it makes a lot of sense and like so much of what this philosophy espouses).......Finding a softer, gentler, place.......stopping the merry-go-round......slowing down the racehorse........finding a place in the middle.....
Along with my sessions, I am also starting work with a yoga teacher who works with Feldenkrais patients......I look forward to exploring this new practice of seeing where my strengths and weaknesses are (bodywise) and working to correct them to lead a better quality of life.......I have high hopes and need to keep things in check....one step at a time.......

Teaching An Old Dog New Tricks Is Never Easy!

I went to my volunteer job at the temple yesterday and what I realized is that I am certainly helping them do tasks which have to be repeatedly done and are important, but really don't require too much brainpower......."or so they thought"........little did they know that so many things that I am doing on the computer are monumental advances for me and only yesterday did I realize that I am learning so much......don't get me wrong.......my knowledge is "relative" and I am still low on the totem pole, but I saw progress yesterday.....I am learning to be a little more independent and not always running to Marianne when I am stuck....I do a little experimentation.....sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't....but at least I am willing to try.....Frustration is certainly part of my learning curve as more than one time the Executive Director asked me "if everything was all right" as I muttered under my breath when the font magically changed on me"........that's okay....patience has never been my strong point and my recognition of "improving a little" was wonderful for me.....sometimes I wished I worked on consecutive days so that I could have a continuum of learning, instead of waiting three days and having the first hour of my being there a little "fuzzy"........but there's that word "patience" again.....take a deep breath.......get help when you need to, but try to figure it out yourself.....I left four hours later feeling good. I might even do a little work on the computer before I go back on Thursday, so I feel more comfortable from the start.....Breathe in.....big exhale out......Relax......
Speaking of "relaxation", the cd that I ordered on "Relaxing into Greatness" is on back order....I found that out only by going online to the site.....I might have to get another cd until this one comes in.....I can only be "patient" for so long.....baby steps........visualization, going to that place which is comfortable....and I don't mean my bed......I think I have my old hypnosis tape which I might play today......I'll let you know how that goes......

Weekend News Report...

A quick trip to St. Louis, short but meaningful visits with family.....a 90th birthday celebration and the awaiting of a new baby in June......my emotions ran the entire spectrum.....for Gary's mom's birthday celebration, I tried not to be too melancholy......but searched for the joy in it......spirits were high and smiles were rampant at this milestone celebration......I got to see my sister with her whole family in town and it was so nice...... It was wonderful to be able to share her joy with her granddaughter, Sabrina, a nineteen month old cutie......she kept us all amused....and also with my niece, Jami, who is expecting a baby in June......how could the "baby" of the family be having a baby? She's 30.......it's okay....it's so joyouos. 30 hours..........9 spent sleeping, but we managed to spend so much quality time together. It made me miss my boys and girls and babies....but my day will be coming soon.....it was wonderful for me to see Peggy's joy......
Another week begins today and I am headed to the temple to do some volunteer work. The pleasure I am receiving from my few hours spent there is so heartwarming and meaningful.......my goal is to take a deep breath for the next four weeks and enjoy everything and everyone around me, because February 18 (besides being Gary's 60th) marks the start of some heavy duty travelling for me......and in case I didn't mention, this is not just "regular" travelling...it is to be with my children and grandchildren, from the warm beaches of Costa Rica to the slopes of Beaver Creek......well, I won't be on the slopes......but in the condo drinking hot chocolate! Just to be able to spend this time together is a blessing.....I am going to try not to rush the next four weeks away quickly....I am trying so hard to "be in the moment".......I'll let you know how it's working.........until then, it's nice to be back....

I'M BACK

Hey there......it's been almost three months since my last blog.....don't want to get into any details........but I think I can safely I'm back......so much to say, but so little time to say it....I am going out of town tomorrow and coming back Sunday night....I will write my first official "comeback blog" on Monday.....Right now I just want to express my gratitude for all who are in my life.....my wonderful husband...who lets me be me, worts and all....(of course he might have a wort here and there), my three beautiful children who all continue to amaze me with their love and compassion, my two terrific daughters-in-law who are both beautiful and supportive and are the mothers of my three joys, Maya, Liana and Mia.....I am truly blessed....Among my other blessings are my small circle of friends, and my even smaller circle of one.......who never cease to amaze me with their support.....My goal for this new year is to display more kindness and compassion to all who come my way....After all, everyone has a "story"......see you Monday