I just got finished watching the Dr. Phil show and was reminded of a book that I read ten years ago, "Tuesdays With Morrie". Dr. Phil had the author, Mitch Albom, on the show, celebrating 10 year re-release of the book......and Dr. Phil and Mitch were trying to get everyday people who have their own problems to stop and reevaluate to what is really important in life.......I can remember reading the book and being mesmerized by it.....its morals were so basic, but too easily skipped over in the hubbub of life. As certain recollections that Mitch brought up many of his conversations with Morrie and I had to smile a little.....many lessons that Morrie had taught Mitch were things that I had actually practiced in my life these last ten years, but never really stopped to think of them as "lessons learned"......Morrie asked Mitch to visit him at the cemetery after he died...and when Mitch questioned him and asked "why".....you won't be able to talk to me, Morrie's response was "you talk....I'll listen".........how wonderful and how it hit home for me.....I have lost both of my parents in the past seven years and their losses were unbelievably painful to me.....I was so afraid they would not be a part of my future life....as I examine that, nothing could be farther from the truth. Although I rarely go the cemetery, since I live out of town, I always have conversations with both my dad and mom. I tell them what is going on in my life..I speak of my highlights and low days.......I do believe they are listening. their spirits come to me in such unexpected times, but are so strong..... it is truly a blessing....I'd love for them to just drop by sometimes....and I am rewarded with one or two "cardinals" perched on the trees around my house.
My two sons who live in Costa Rica who both met their wives, one Costa Rican and one Colombian. They chose to follow the path less travelled, and though I occasionally have a mini-struggle with it,I cannot argue with the beautiful lives they are living. They have given me three beautiful granddaughters who I adore. Many of Morrie's life lessons are ones I think I have unconsciously chosen to follow......I have learned to "embrace their lives" just the way they are....not the way I would have planned it.....my acceptance brings me joy in so many ways.....I am being forced to learn a new language.....even though I can't speak it very well....I can definitely understand a lot.......I'm proud of that......my granddaughters have given me "joy"....unconditional joy.......as I watch my sons in their role as fathers, my heart smiles. Gary and I must have done something right......our daughter, Corey, is a hard/soft spot for me....her strengths are her weaknesses, her passions are unmatched. she is a sucker for anyone who needs anything....I LOVE THAT.....Her ideals remain pure and unwavering....there is no compromising.....
Though it has been a struggle this last year in my preparation to turn "60", I hope I can stop rushing through anything.....waiting to get to the next step....the next step will come...the next opportunity will present itself .... I just have to keep my eyes open. One thing I know for sure.....I want to read "Tuesdays with Morrie" once again.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
The job needed to be done, but.......
Friday was a long, busy and tiring day for me, but I set out to finish a job by a certain time and I did, B U T.........
Let me preface this with some important facts known to all......I am a clean person, but definitely not a "neat" person......Gary and I are entertaining again tomorrow night and I had been putting off getting help with the house for a long time, and this time I was determined to follow through and call the name given to me of a two-woman service.....I spoke with them Wednesday evening and we scheduled a time for them to come over and look at the house and give me an estimate Friday afternoon....they were to call around 2:30......Obviously I was not going to let them come into a sloppy house, so I was going to start cleaning on Thursday and finish it up on Friday, but I procrastinated Thursday away knowing full well that Friday was going to be a full 5 or so hours of some organization and a lot of cleaning.......I didn't want these women to think I was sloppy or dirty, so I had a big task on Friday morning....I woke up, had my coffee and did the crossword (had to do that).....and then the cleaning machine began....like a tornado, but much, much slower, I whipped through the house, garbage bags, sponges, Windex, Mr. Clean, some type of clorox foaming cleanser, paper towels and "true grit" and began my task.....I watched the clock as I performed these tasks and knew that I could make my goal of 2:15, giving myself fifteen minutes to sit on the couch and wait for 'their call'......started in my bedroom........vacuumed and mopped the hardwoods in the room, master bath was next....decided I wanted to change the look a little, so I toted a large mirror which was downstairs and put it in the tub area....I should point out that the mirror was much too heavy for me to be lifting, even without my neck issues.....but with my neck issues, I knew I would pay the price later.......with the sinks, tub and toilet sanitized and all mirrors windexed, I mopped the floor and even cleaned out a few of the bathroom drawers (just a bonus.....since they wouldn't be seeing that...) I removed all old magazines from the toilet area....refolded towels that are on a small etagere next to the tub, put a potted plant on top (I just read that all bathrooms should have something green in them)........I glanced at the clock and saw that it was 10:30.....doing just fine....I then went to the laundry room.....vacuumed, mopped, put away clean clothing that had accumulated on top of the dryer, cleaned the dogs' bowls and proceeded to the living room and den......my loving dog, Lexie, a yellow lab, leaves her mark everywhere, so with my mighty Dyson vacuum in hand, no hair was going to escape me......I did the floors, the rugs, the couch (she must lay on that couch at some time).....I windexed my two cocktail tables, polished an entertainment center, windexed the glass shelves on two etageres, did a little reorganization of a few chotchkes, then it was time to break for lunch......I heated some leftovers from two nights before and ate at the bar standing up.....I knew once I sat, it would be all over and I still had the kitchen and dining room. entry hall. wood floor steps going upstairs which I wanted to polish.......Timing was good, but I was starting to tire a little and I just kept focusing on my goal...sitting on the couch at 2:15.....I scrubbed the kitchen, the stove, the range top, the bar and counter tops, windexed the microwave and refrigerator and scrubbed the floor....then off to the dining room to vacuum, windex and dust, mopped the entry hall, polished those steps, went to my aerosol arsenal and got out lemon rug sprays, some sort of citrus spray for the upholstery and pillows, lit a Glade, pronounced Glaa - day, candle and plopped on the couch.....I must say everything looked so nice and I was very proud of myself.....
2:30 came and went and no call.....I called them at 3:00 and got their answering machine...I called again at 3:15 and left them a message, and then again at 3:40...at which time I had to leave to go get a manicure......as I fell apart at the manicure place from sheer fatigue, I received no call......Feeling pretty defeated, but with pretty nails, I headed home to see if they had called home....no, no, and no........
Gary was not due home until late that evening...he had been in Boston....I struggled to wander around the house so that I wouldn't go to bed at 5....I had a pb&j sandwich at 5:30, a bath and an apple at 6, and was in bed by 6:15.........clearly I learned a few things....
l....it's probably not a wise idea to tackle all these chores in one day ever again.
2....maybe it wasn't such a good idea to wait until the last minute to do all this.
3....it's a good thing I wasn't waiting for them to actually clean the house
4....maybe if I would be a little (okay a lot) more organized, and cleaned things as
they got messy, I WOULD NOT HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN..........
I will call the ladies again on Monday and hope there was some sort of miscommunication as to why they did not show up or call, but meanwhile I have the satisfaction that I did such a good job on the house.....or maybe not.....I have slept the weekend away since my daily attack on the house and my neck is in a vice.....but tomorrow is a new day and it's Sunday night and the house is STILL CLEAN......
Let me preface this with some important facts known to all......I am a clean person, but definitely not a "neat" person......Gary and I are entertaining again tomorrow night and I had been putting off getting help with the house for a long time, and this time I was determined to follow through and call the name given to me of a two-woman service.....I spoke with them Wednesday evening and we scheduled a time for them to come over and look at the house and give me an estimate Friday afternoon....they were to call around 2:30......Obviously I was not going to let them come into a sloppy house, so I was going to start cleaning on Thursday and finish it up on Friday, but I procrastinated Thursday away knowing full well that Friday was going to be a full 5 or so hours of some organization and a lot of cleaning.......I didn't want these women to think I was sloppy or dirty, so I had a big task on Friday morning....I woke up, had my coffee and did the crossword (had to do that).....and then the cleaning machine began....like a tornado, but much, much slower, I whipped through the house, garbage bags, sponges, Windex, Mr. Clean, some type of clorox foaming cleanser, paper towels and "true grit" and began my task.....I watched the clock as I performed these tasks and knew that I could make my goal of 2:15, giving myself fifteen minutes to sit on the couch and wait for 'their call'......started in my bedroom........vacuumed and mopped the hardwoods in the room, master bath was next....decided I wanted to change the look a little, so I toted a large mirror which was downstairs and put it in the tub area....I should point out that the mirror was much too heavy for me to be lifting, even without my neck issues.....but with my neck issues, I knew I would pay the price later.......with the sinks, tub and toilet sanitized and all mirrors windexed, I mopped the floor and even cleaned out a few of the bathroom drawers (just a bonus.....since they wouldn't be seeing that...) I removed all old magazines from the toilet area....refolded towels that are on a small etagere next to the tub, put a potted plant on top (I just read that all bathrooms should have something green in them)........I glanced at the clock and saw that it was 10:30.....doing just fine....I then went to the laundry room.....vacuumed, mopped, put away clean clothing that had accumulated on top of the dryer, cleaned the dogs' bowls and proceeded to the living room and den......my loving dog, Lexie, a yellow lab, leaves her mark everywhere, so with my mighty Dyson vacuum in hand, no hair was going to escape me......I did the floors, the rugs, the couch (she must lay on that couch at some time).....I windexed my two cocktail tables, polished an entertainment center, windexed the glass shelves on two etageres, did a little reorganization of a few chotchkes, then it was time to break for lunch......I heated some leftovers from two nights before and ate at the bar standing up.....I knew once I sat, it would be all over and I still had the kitchen and dining room. entry hall. wood floor steps going upstairs which I wanted to polish.......Timing was good, but I was starting to tire a little and I just kept focusing on my goal...sitting on the couch at 2:15.....I scrubbed the kitchen, the stove, the range top, the bar and counter tops, windexed the microwave and refrigerator and scrubbed the floor....then off to the dining room to vacuum, windex and dust, mopped the entry hall, polished those steps, went to my aerosol arsenal and got out lemon rug sprays, some sort of citrus spray for the upholstery and pillows, lit a Glade, pronounced Glaa - day, candle and plopped on the couch.....I must say everything looked so nice and I was very proud of myself.....
2:30 came and went and no call.....I called them at 3:00 and got their answering machine...I called again at 3:15 and left them a message, and then again at 3:40...at which time I had to leave to go get a manicure......as I fell apart at the manicure place from sheer fatigue, I received no call......Feeling pretty defeated, but with pretty nails, I headed home to see if they had called home....no, no, and no........
Gary was not due home until late that evening...he had been in Boston....I struggled to wander around the house so that I wouldn't go to bed at 5....I had a pb&j sandwich at 5:30, a bath and an apple at 6, and was in bed by 6:15.........clearly I learned a few things....
l....it's probably not a wise idea to tackle all these chores in one day ever again.
2....maybe it wasn't such a good idea to wait until the last minute to do all this.
3....it's a good thing I wasn't waiting for them to actually clean the house
4....maybe if I would be a little (okay a lot) more organized, and cleaned things as
they got messy, I WOULD NOT HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN..........
I will call the ladies again on Monday and hope there was some sort of miscommunication as to why they did not show up or call, but meanwhile I have the satisfaction that I did such a good job on the house.....or maybe not.....I have slept the weekend away since my daily attack on the house and my neck is in a vice.....but tomorrow is a new day and it's Sunday night and the house is STILL CLEAN......
Thursday, October 18, 2007
OPENING MYSELF TO NEW EXPERIENCES!
Those of you who have been keeping up with me know that I am trying to "take the road less travelled", "make new friends, but keep the old", "going out of my comfort zone".........well, yesterday I took quite the journey......I have been going to physical therapy for a few weeks for a chronic neck problem and have not been getting the relief I wanted (who's surprised by that?)......anyway a friend recommended an acupuncturist who has been in the business for 30 years and had done miracles on a client of hers.......I immediately called this doctor...he answered, asked me when I wanted to come in.....I said yesterday at l:00...he said, "come on in"........Well, I came on in.......First let me say that I was pre-warned that I shouldn't judge a book by the cover....and the place was not the cleanest..et al.....When I arrived, I tried to hold judgment on the facade of the building......not really too sure what material it was....not wood, not brick, not stucco....something that looked like it wouldn't hold up if there were any strong winds, but the parking lot was full and I found a space and ventured in with much trepidation. As I walked in, the strangest of odors greeted me along with the visual of a room looking like it had been hit by a tornado......a bulletin board jammed in layers with articles which were dated "1991".......the whole entrance, odor, bulletin board left me a little more disconcerted, but I got an application and started filling it out.....there was a woman sitting next to me filling out the same info and I just had to ask her if she was recommended by someone and if she had any misgivings of the surroundings......she smiled and said she too had been warned to not be alarmed at the clinic.......while we were sitting and waiting, two or three people left, and of course I stopped one of them to ask him some questions....he was very friendly and said he was very satisfied with the doctor's treatments....he had been seeing him for 20 years.........another woman who was waiting to see the doctor who wasn't filling out any papers looked nice enough, and I felt bold enough to ask her about the doctor and her success.....she was from Mississippi and they have no acupuncturists there, so she drives over......argh!!! She was from Boston and had treatment there and she said it must be "the old tradition" because her acupuncturist up there had the same type office and surroundings........she was pleased with the doctor....she had bursitis and was getting relief...eventually I was called and as he walked me to the back of the clinic, my heart sunk.....conditions were worse as we walked back.....everything was deteriorated...there were stacks of papers of magazines everywhere......I mean six and seven feet high........the smell followed us...we entered a room, sat down as he explained about acupuncture....I only understood a portion of what he said...he had a thick Mandarin accent, but I kept shaking my head as if I understood everything....
Okay...take off your top and lay on your stomach with your chest on the pillows. My inner self was screaming to get up and run, but I followed his instructions....the pillows had that dank smell, the sheet I was laying on looked relatively clean..and there I was, waiting for him to insert needles in me.....I would estimate he put in 60 - 80 needles.......not too uncomfortable, more of a puncture feeling as opposed to a shot......he left me alone in the room and my lonely part of this venture or adventure continued.....I was becoming uncomfortable laying on my stomach the way he had positioned me, so I tried to change positions....ouch....can't move when you have needles in you. I was deep breathing and found my face smothered by the pillows because I didn't want to put pressure on my neck by lifting it.......if it wasn't so humorous, I would have cried out......but there I was...no air conditioning, fan or circulation......30 minutes later he reentered and took my needles out...........my neck had gotten so tense as I awaited the needles that I could not relax for the procedure at all and when I stood up, my neck had mobility, but was incredibly stiff.........He said he wanted to see me again today and I scheduled like "the good patient"......when I left I politely asked what I owed him....His response was "$100"......I replied, "For each time?".....his answer was yes........and I had a sick feeling in my stomach.....I don't know if this was a reasonable price or not, but I knew if I was going to be on any sort of an acupuncture routine, it was not going to be in this doctor's office....in the two hours that I was there, I counted at least 14 people coming and going....I looked on the sign-in sheet as I left......30 people.....30 people at $100 a pop ..I'll leave you with my opinion....he is probably a wonderful doctor who gets good results with his patients, but he needs to spend $4 on a Glade candle, paint the place and get an exterminator in.....with the $3,000 he collected for 5 hours, he can afford it....as for me, I will be calling another acupuncturist.......
Okay...take off your top and lay on your stomach with your chest on the pillows. My inner self was screaming to get up and run, but I followed his instructions....the pillows had that dank smell, the sheet I was laying on looked relatively clean..and there I was, waiting for him to insert needles in me.....I would estimate he put in 60 - 80 needles.......not too uncomfortable, more of a puncture feeling as opposed to a shot......he left me alone in the room and my lonely part of this venture or adventure continued.....I was becoming uncomfortable laying on my stomach the way he had positioned me, so I tried to change positions....ouch....can't move when you have needles in you. I was deep breathing and found my face smothered by the pillows because I didn't want to put pressure on my neck by lifting it.......if it wasn't so humorous, I would have cried out......but there I was...no air conditioning, fan or circulation......30 minutes later he reentered and took my needles out...........my neck had gotten so tense as I awaited the needles that I could not relax for the procedure at all and when I stood up, my neck had mobility, but was incredibly stiff.........He said he wanted to see me again today and I scheduled like "the good patient"......when I left I politely asked what I owed him....His response was "$100"......I replied, "For each time?".....his answer was yes........and I had a sick feeling in my stomach.....I don't know if this was a reasonable price or not, but I knew if I was going to be on any sort of an acupuncture routine, it was not going to be in this doctor's office....in the two hours that I was there, I counted at least 14 people coming and going....I looked on the sign-in sheet as I left......30 people.....30 people at $100 a pop ..I'll leave you with my opinion....he is probably a wonderful doctor who gets good results with his patients, but he needs to spend $4 on a Glade candle, paint the place and get an exterminator in.....with the $3,000 he collected for 5 hours, he can afford it....as for me, I will be calling another acupuncturist.......
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
WHAT'S A GIRL SUPPOSED TO DO?
What's a girl supposed to do......okay, not just any girl.....I guess I should say woman......I guess I should be more specific and say woman over 50......Lately in the magazines I read and am impressed by (More and Oprah) and on AOL news postings, the hot topic seems to be "What Women Over 50 Shouldn't Do, Should Never Wear, Hairdos To Avoid, Jewelry to Just Say No To.......Most Common Makeup Mistakes of Women Over 50...........ad nauseum.........I respect so much of the information that I solicit from these magazines, but I feel I am getting an overload of What Not To Do or Wear instead of Headlines Like ....How to look your best after 50......how to flatter your body after 50....tell me the fashions......tell me the make-up tips.....Just tell me in a positive tone........As I am going through this journey of turning 60 (and let me just say, I am OKAY with it....), I am learning to rephrase or reframe what my life is about instead of getting stuck in all of the 'WHAT NOTS TO DO AFTER 50'.......Frighteningly enough, none of the articles I have read so far deal with what to do or wear or make-up tips on WHAT NOTS TO DO AFTER 60.........should I be overly concerned about that or should I assume that I guess that when you turn 60 THERE ARE NO MORE RULES..........that would be very refreshing.......meanwhile I will spend my last two and a half weeks as a 59 year old woman breaking all the rules that I can....with a big smile on my face......I am now taking on the role of "warrior"......Watch out........have a great day...
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
the positives and negatives of therapy (any kind)
Yesterday was a therapy day for me.....I was scheduled with my "head" doctor and my neck physical therapy....Upon waking yesterday morning, I knew I couldn't do both, so I opted for mental health therapy......good choice.....I really like my therapist, easy to talk to.....helps to keep me on the straight and narrow path (or at least she tries to....) and gives me a neutral forum to voice thoughts and decisions I am trying to formulate......she not only embraced my decision to market myself as a "fitness consultant", but offers her help to help to network me with people other than who I generally encounter........
As we discussed the futilities of physical therapy, she recommends an acupuncturist who and a pain management doctor (no pills) who might offer alternative ways to manage my neck pain.....she looks up the numbers for me.....I leave therapy newly energized and in a "better place"........
Then off to the store to purchase ingredients for chicken soup.....Gary is coming home this afternoon and a long six days in Prague....and has a bad cold/sinus whatever.....I carefully prepare the soup only to let it boil a little too long, so there is very little broth, but what is there, is rich and when he came home last night, he ate two bowls and went straight to bed......I'm talking 6:30......very unusual for Gary, but I didn't want him to be unaccompanied, so I tucked myself in as well...needless to say, I didn't make it through the night.........a combination of his coughing spells and my sleeping plenty by midnight, I went upstairs and got a little more sleep.......I arose at 4:30 and got online and am waiting for the paper to come......I get personally trained this morning, the termite man is coming and I have errands which need to get done.......my girls' getaway is coming soon and I want to buy some things to take to the lake.......I want to call the acupuncturist. Dr. Chen today.....uh-oh, am i setting myself up for failure by writing too many things on my list.....I'll redo the list and prioritize........good start for the long day ahead......
As we discussed the futilities of physical therapy, she recommends an acupuncturist who and a pain management doctor (no pills) who might offer alternative ways to manage my neck pain.....she looks up the numbers for me.....I leave therapy newly energized and in a "better place"........
Then off to the store to purchase ingredients for chicken soup.....Gary is coming home this afternoon and a long six days in Prague....and has a bad cold/sinus whatever.....I carefully prepare the soup only to let it boil a little too long, so there is very little broth, but what is there, is rich and when he came home last night, he ate two bowls and went straight to bed......I'm talking 6:30......very unusual for Gary, but I didn't want him to be unaccompanied, so I tucked myself in as well...needless to say, I didn't make it through the night.........a combination of his coughing spells and my sleeping plenty by midnight, I went upstairs and got a little more sleep.......I arose at 4:30 and got online and am waiting for the paper to come......I get personally trained this morning, the termite man is coming and I have errands which need to get done.......my girls' getaway is coming soon and I want to buy some things to take to the lake.......I want to call the acupuncturist. Dr. Chen today.....uh-oh, am i setting myself up for failure by writing too many things on my list.....I'll redo the list and prioritize........good start for the long day ahead......
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Sundays are no fun without Gary...
I love so many things about Sunday......it's just the leisure manner that it brings to Gary and I.......Sunday mornings are sacred......Coffee in bed first followed by a big Sunday paper......I love that Gary shares this weekly ritual.....he is always in such a hurry to go wherever and this ritual has become very special.......so special that when he is out of town, it's just a long day......Sundays are for families.....my kids are grown and have been out of the house for years.....but today even though I was lonely for Gary and did a lot of "nothing" all day, it was a very special day for my daughter......this was the day that she completed the Avon 3-day walk for cancer......as she does for everything, she followed an exemplary training routine....by the book......she was going to be prepared and she was...physically.....but after talking with her today, nothing could have prepared her for the emotional journey that she would experience. 3,000 walkers......people who were cancer survivors, their friends, people who were walking in memory of friends that they had lost, and like Corey, people who just wanted to feel that they were making a difference.. Three days, 60 miles and six million dollars raised, Corey was elated and is already planning for a team next year......I beamed with pride as I listened to her.......she has so much to give....maybe this will be the start of her recognizing that things that she does can and do make a difference in every aspect of her life......she called my sister who is a breast cancer survivor and described every detail of the closing ceremony.....she called both of her brothers in Costa Rica....she called Gary who is in Prague and she called . What a lucky family we are to be so close........but next Sunday, Gary, you will spend the morning with me in bed with coffee and the paper.....that's our Sunday tradition. So as I shut down for the night, maybe I shouldn't really call this day "no fun".....it was a little lonely and very thought provoking.......we are all healthy and happy.....can't ask for more than that......I drank my coffee, read the paper and completed the entire Sunday crossword puzzle.....yes, Sundays are supposed to be the hardest ones, but I did it on my own........I did do something else today, but I will leave that for my post tomorrow.....what a funny person i can be....stay tuned....
Saturday, October 13, 2007
I'M BACK...........ALL IS WELL.....
Good morning.....it is a beautiful fall morning and I believe I can honestly say that "I am back"......I have taken some time off from writing trying to wait until I was in the "right place" and I finally decided that my "right place" is going to be constantly evolving, and writing usually gives me such a sense of peace, so what was my delay?
Let's address my physical condition first.......the wrist that I broke a year ago seems to be taking a downward spiral...mobility is not as good....,grip strength weaker, sometimes a little numbness and tingling.....but......I guess I had to keep up the exercises from physical therapy.....I am going to the doctor in about a week or so to have that re-evaluated....I have had neck issues for about six months and finally sought professional treatment.....many x-rays later, no surprises.....I have some disc degeneration and a little arthritis........I am in physical therapy and am making myself realize what I can and cannot due in terms of exercise......I can certainly still do my cardio workout, but the weights are drastically limited.....we're talking 1-5 pound weights......obviously, none of this sat very well with me.....my pity party began again and as Gary so aptly put it, I began to "vaporize"......pulling away from people and activities.........therapy (physical, not mental....that's Monday) was a good thing for me.......mentally......when you are surrounded by others whose injuries are so much more severe and limiting than mine, I was forced to "tune into what I could do and not to what I could not do"........my isolation or "vaporization" has been good for me......it has allowed me a lot of personal time to think of where I am in my life.....the blessings that have been bestowed on me and what I want to continue doing......I am taking a few of the "girlies" (best friends) away to the lake for a few days to celebrate my upcoming 60th birthday.....though I started having second thoughts about it, one friend reminded me how lucky I was that six other women would pencil four days off their busy calendars to come spend this time together......that's when I truly got excited about our journey.......
On a different tangent, I have been frustrated with "losing my fitness identity" and was in a sense grieving for the days when I used to teach.....yesterday I went to get a new kind of facial (yes, I will always be vain), and I was filling out an application of medical history, etc, occupation......and it came to me.......I am a fitness consultant.......I smiled as I wrote it down, because I had finally "framed" what my non-teaching days hold.....my knowledge is a gift which I will continually pass on to people.....it is my passion, but my "reframing" it, I was now a consultant.....I didn't have a specific schedule....I wasn't tied down to a certain gym.......I would be a freelance consultant for anyone who needed their workouts to be outlined for them on a one-to-one basis.....it could be a "redefinition" of what their workouts should include.....it could be done at their homes, my home, or in a gym (since I wouldn't be a trainer at their gym, just a one time guest designing their program).........who would think that such a little thought and a new name for myself could give me such satisfaction...I am going to ask my friends to help me find a "name" for my company, a cute logo (of course)........yes, you are right....I am smiling......I can feel myself devaporizing.......it feels good to be back.....
Let's address my physical condition first.......the wrist that I broke a year ago seems to be taking a downward spiral...mobility is not as good....,grip strength weaker, sometimes a little numbness and tingling.....but......I guess I had to keep up the exercises from physical therapy.....I am going to the doctor in about a week or so to have that re-evaluated....I have had neck issues for about six months and finally sought professional treatment.....many x-rays later, no surprises.....I have some disc degeneration and a little arthritis........I am in physical therapy and am making myself realize what I can and cannot due in terms of exercise......I can certainly still do my cardio workout, but the weights are drastically limited.....we're talking 1-5 pound weights......obviously, none of this sat very well with me.....my pity party began again and as Gary so aptly put it, I began to "vaporize"......pulling away from people and activities.........therapy (physical, not mental....that's Monday) was a good thing for me.......mentally......when you are surrounded by others whose injuries are so much more severe and limiting than mine, I was forced to "tune into what I could do and not to what I could not do"........my isolation or "vaporization" has been good for me......it has allowed me a lot of personal time to think of where I am in my life.....the blessings that have been bestowed on me and what I want to continue doing......I am taking a few of the "girlies" (best friends) away to the lake for a few days to celebrate my upcoming 60th birthday.....though I started having second thoughts about it, one friend reminded me how lucky I was that six other women would pencil four days off their busy calendars to come spend this time together......that's when I truly got excited about our journey.......
On a different tangent, I have been frustrated with "losing my fitness identity" and was in a sense grieving for the days when I used to teach.....yesterday I went to get a new kind of facial (yes, I will always be vain), and I was filling out an application of medical history, etc, occupation......and it came to me.......I am a fitness consultant.......I smiled as I wrote it down, because I had finally "framed" what my non-teaching days hold.....my knowledge is a gift which I will continually pass on to people.....it is my passion, but my "reframing" it, I was now a consultant.....I didn't have a specific schedule....I wasn't tied down to a certain gym.......I would be a freelance consultant for anyone who needed their workouts to be outlined for them on a one-to-one basis.....it could be a "redefinition" of what their workouts should include.....it could be done at their homes, my home, or in a gym (since I wouldn't be a trainer at their gym, just a one time guest designing their program).........who would think that such a little thought and a new name for myself could give me such satisfaction...I am going to ask my friends to help me find a "name" for my company, a cute logo (of course)........yes, you are right....I am smiling......I can feel myself devaporizing.......it feels good to be back.....
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