MY OWN INCONVENIENT TRUTH

April 18 will mark the 7 MONTH anniversary of when I had a freak accident on the pilates reformer which began a series of "firsts" for me.......in the almost thirty years of my teaching, I have been fortunate never to have an injury.....sure, I had sprained backs, many muscle aches, but nothing which took me "out of the game".......September 18 marks the day that began my journey of seeing my own inconvenient truths.......the fall on the reformer broke my wrist.....upon hitting the reformer, hearing the sound of my wrist cracking, watching it physically moving out of joint and feeling a lot of pain.....I knew immediately that I had entered uncharted territory.......the ambulance ride I had never envisioned was not as glorious as the ones on tv.....nobody rode in the back with me......my arm had been temporarily splinted.....who was there to take care of me and comfort me......fortunately it was only a very short ride to the emergency room, and as the opened the doors of the ambulance, my fans were there to greet the fallen hero.....my pilates teacher, another student who carried my purse......two YMCA head honchos, and then, of course, Gary. I felt a little relief knowing that I was no longer alone and as I was immediately ushered into an emergeny room cubby, all left with good wishes and hugs......all, but Gary......he was my steadfast companion and stayed until I was drugged (thank goodness), x-rayed, had the wrist reset (again heavy medication....arm totaly numbed) and then sent home, armed with the knowledge that there was a good chance I was going to need surgery with plates and pins.....I was still fine.....I had no clue as to what was coming.....surgery came and went and to my dismay, I didn't even get a cast....I guess I should explain that I have ALWAYS wanted a cast......and my pain was eased (along with the meds) knowing that I would finally have a colored cast!!!!! That was not to be the case...my surgeon believes in using removable splints so that rehab can start the day after surgery! A new journey began as I started rehab the day following the surgery......I don't know how the "one-armed man" from the TV show, The Fugitive, performed his daily tasks with "one arm"......I became more creative than I thought possible....I used power drills to open up child-proof bottles.....using the bathroom became interesting..my teeth became an integral part of tearing the tissue paper....putting a long-sleeved t-shirt on and off was imprisoning and zipping my blue jeans was futile. Driving the car with one arm was most dangerous....my frustations were only tamed as I went to physical therapy two times a week and saw everyone else's injury.......most were much worse......most had better attitudes, but mostly I saw my own human frailty and that of others. I heard other stories of multiple surgeries and gratitude that they were able to perform any sort of therapy......I tried to count my blessings. In a way for a long time, I lost "myself" during the first few months.....I was no longer the strong exercise teacher/trainer.....I felt physical and emotional weakness...WHO WAS I when I had to go "off my path"......I had my pity party and then tried to make the most of it....through my extensive arts and crafts background (no laughing, Laurie, Corey or Peggy).......I painted designs on my splints....the rehab patients loved it, but alas, no one took me up on my offers to paint theirs......it has been seven months and I am so much better.....the doctor said this sort of injury takes 12-18 months to get good results......Many, many deep breaths, later, I am grateful it was my left wrist and not the right.....I am so thankful that I was not injured more severely.......Gary is eternally grateful that I can still exercise and "stop the pouting"......and I have come to realize that as grateful as I am for all the above reasons, this 7 months and counting little injury has become 'MY OWN INCONVENIENT TRUTH"......

stardom is fleeting...

Ah, the anticipation of one's fifteen seconds of fame is indeed very taxing.......the knowledge that my husband was going to be on CBS Nightly News with Katie Couric announcing a new and important finding in MS research was both exciting and nervewracking.......so many phone calls from CBS last week trying to set up the interview....the thoughts of his image on the "big screen"..........calls from several newspapers wanting to interview him......I have known Gary's reputation in the MS community was impeccable; his frequent (did I say "very frequent"?) overseas trips to brainstorm with some pretty highpower researchers......the 5 a.m. conference calls with his cronies in Paris, London, Buenos Aires, Madrid, Sidney, the late night phone calls he received confirming data that he had "uncovered"......all led me to know "this husband of mine" had a gift.......his communication skills are superb.....his insight into his research...incredible....and yet as he uncovers new data and then....conclusions....the naieve look of a child "surprised" by what he has found.....isn't this exciting, honey.....look what I might have uncovered........yes, dear, I reply....
Back to the story......he was sent to do an off-site interview at the Civic Center where the interview was to take place....darkend room, earplugs in both ears.....the reporter asking his probing questions while Gary had to look into a camera, act natural, react appropriately, and not give out too much info was not as easy as he had thought.....he speaks to large groups of people all the time......but not just to a camera while questions were coming into his ear.....he had just entered "virgin teritory"........He made it through and we were given an air time of Thursday.....e-mails went out to all staff at UAB...."one of our people is being given national recognition....PLEASE WATCH.....I e-mailed family and friends, made calls to Costa Rica.....there were people world-wide waiting to hear Gary's words of wisdom....
The CBS Nightly News came and went......and alas, no Gary......he received an e-mail saying his "piece" had been bumped.......
After the outrage of his family and friends died down, and many relaxing baths were taken and wine sipped, we are better today.....Drained, but fine.....knowing that we still have our "Gary", husband, father, grandfather, dear friend and colleague who will be speaking at HARVARD MEDICAL SCHOOL this morning.......
Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Miss Katie Couric.....you don't know what you missed........

WHAT YOU DON'T SEE CAN'T HURT YOU

If I don't read the newspapers, go online or watch the news, I won't be constantly reminded of the atrocities that go on in the world every day......I won't have to rant on my opinion on the war in Iraq...........I go about my daily life and give small pockets of time in my day to thoughts I would rather not dwell on........the massacres that are going on all over the world.....I watch the news with horror........and while shaking my head in disbelief, I am able to put it away in some pocket of my mind, and "it" goes away until I am faced with it the next time.......I truly live in the "Tiny Kingdom"........but then I stop and think and give myself a break.........because who among us knows how we personally can do something to make things "better"....... I believe the majority of us live in our own isolated worlds.......it's easier to talk about it briefly....and then just let it go....
Last night while indulging in one of my favorite pastimes.....American Idol.......I was forced once again to go out of my comfort zone and watch the horrors of poverty......hunger, disease.....and I saw these horrors through the eyes of innocent children.......the eyes of those children haunted me last night and have not left me this morning......after I made my online contribution........I felt no sense of relief.......an overwhelming sense of sadness and futility enveloped me as I awoke this morning.....I must become more involved.......I must become more active in this crusade....I need to give this some uninterrupted thought so I can come to terms with a plan.......I must do it on a local basis......I can certainly write an occasional check to the "bigger plans".....but the haunting eyes of those children made an impact on me....and I don't want to put the image away.....I want to see it..I WANT TO HURT...maybe that is the only way I will be forced to act...I need to find out more.......Maybe I am finally growing up.....who would have known it would take me almost 60 years.......but I don't want to close my eyes anymore..........we are all hurt by this.........and I CAN make a difference.........if only a small one.......one step at a time.......
I will certainly tune into "Survivor" this evening and watch another "reality show"........but its significance will have diminished just a little.......
Wake up, Always Abby.........stay in the present...........

Reflections for my first real day as a blogger

today marks a milestone for me......although I set my blog up yesterday with the help of an expert......today, I am on my own........so many issues, so many thoughts.....what should I speak to today.........Since I just got back from exercising for a couple hours at the gym and am feeling energized.....I am also very thoughtful......whenever I go to the gym, I come in contact with so many women who have been exercise followers of mine for so many years......this November will mark 30 years since I began teaching at the Shades Valley Y......what a journey this has been for me......from insecure young woman who was literally pushed into teaching a class....to a "me" that I sometimes still don't recognize.......my confidence......my pride in what I have given to others.....the skills which I have given to women in order to enrich their health, their self-esteem, and their overall body image.....I no longer downplay my role....I am not "just" an exercise teacher and personal trainer.......I am giving the gift of overall health and well-being.......I motivate them.....in turn, THEY give SO MUCH BACK TO ME..........I am eternally grateful to every woman who has allowed me to develop the skills that I continually practice and am continuing to learn........I think I'm a very lucky woman to attempt to give the gift of health to anyone who will listen to me..........
Thanks for listening....Have a great day.......Love, Abby

new beginnings

well......this is it......after many months of procrastination, under the direction and tutellage and a little duress from my blogger friend, Grammie......... she has walked me through the steps and I have an official blog name.......watch out, world...here i come...