Good morning.....it is a beautiful fall morning and I believe I can honestly say that "I am back"......I have taken some time off from writing trying to wait until I was in the "right place" and I finally decided that my "right place" is going to be constantly evolving, and writing usually gives me such a sense of peace, so what was my delay?
Let's address my physical condition first.......the wrist that I broke a year ago seems to be taking a downward spiral...mobility is not as good....,grip strength weaker, sometimes a little numbness and tingling.....but......I guess I had to keep up the exercises from physical therapy.....I am going to the doctor in about a week or so to have that re-evaluated....I have had neck issues for about six months and finally sought professional treatment.....many x-rays later, no surprises.....I have some disc degeneration and a little arthritis........I am in physical therapy and am making myself realize what I can and cannot due in terms of exercise......I can certainly still do my cardio workout, but the weights are drastically limited.....we're talking 1-5 pound weights......obviously, none of this sat very well with me.....my pity party began again and as Gary so aptly put it, I began to "vaporize"......pulling away from people and activities.........therapy (physical, not mental....that's Monday) was a good thing for me.......mentally......when you are surrounded by others whose injuries are so much more severe and limiting than mine, I was forced to "tune into what I could do and not to what I could not do"........my isolation or "vaporization" has been good for me......it has allowed me a lot of personal time to think of where I am in my life.....the blessings that have been bestowed on me and what I want to continue doing......I am taking a few of the "girlies" (best friends) away to the lake for a few days to celebrate my upcoming 60th birthday.....though I started having second thoughts about it, one friend reminded me how lucky I was that six other women would pencil four days off their busy calendars to come spend this time together......that's when I truly got excited about our journey.......
On a different tangent, I have been frustrated with "losing my fitness identity" and was in a sense grieving for the days when I used to teach.....yesterday I went to get a new kind of facial (yes, I will always be vain), and I was filling out an application of medical history, etc, occupation......and it came to me.......I am a fitness consultant.......I smiled as I wrote it down, because I had finally "framed" what my non-teaching days hold.....my knowledge is a gift which I will continually pass on to people.....it is my passion, but my "reframing" it, I was now a consultant.....I didn't have a specific schedule....I wasn't tied down to a certain gym.......I would be a freelance consultant for anyone who needed their workouts to be outlined for them on a one-to-one basis.....it could be a "redefinition" of what their workouts should include.....it could be done at their homes, my home, or in a gym (since I wouldn't be a trainer at their gym, just a one time guest designing their program).........who would think that such a little thought and a new name for myself could give me such satisfaction...I am going to ask my friends to help me find a "name" for my company, a cute logo (of course)........yes, you are right....I am smiling......I can feel myself devaporizing.......it feels good to be back.....
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